I’ve had many a low point in my life, but 2014 may have just kicked off with the lowest yet.
On January 2, 2014, I learned that Lindsay Lohan is better than I am.
I can’t even bring myself up to Lindsay’s level of competence.
I had no idea things had gotten so bad.
It all began the prior Sunday. As I’ve let slip, I’m training for a marathon. After a week of holiday gluttony (champagne, cheese, cake, lather, rinse, repeat), I had to pay the piper and slog through a 15 mile run. I was unusually thirsty during that run, but I just chalked it up to too much boozing.
I guzzled liters of water and Gatorade, but I just could not quench my thirst. Over the next few days I continued to deteriorate. No matter how much water and how relatively little champagne I…
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